April 2005

It’s been pretty hectic lately.
just work, work, and more work.
A bunch of ex-colleagues have moved on, so we’ve had loads of farewell parties.
Honestly, I guess we’ll run out of parties at some point.

Lately, I’ve just been feeling really tired.
Both mentally and physically exhausted.
My current job feels like it’s draining all of my energy.
And my dad keeps calling and asking me to switch jobs again; he’s back in that mood.

It’s frustrating when others don’t get why I do what I enjoy, but I’m simply being myself.
There’s no reason to force myself into things I dislike and complain about.
As the Chinese saying goes, 吃的苦中苦方为人上人.
Sigh! -.-“

The saying “forget and forgive” has been popping up everywhere lately.
Why? Apparently, there are news stories saying Japan might be trying to change how it talks about what happened in World War II.

Naturally, the public especially the people in the impacted countries were not pleased.
They strongly objected on their actions, sparking intense debates on local TV and radio.

Many criticized their actions and called for a public apology for such act.
While some advocated a “forget and forgive” approach, I question whether people truly can do so.

Personally, I might be able to forgive, but forgetting is another matter.
In situations like this, it’s much easier to say you’ll let go than to actually do it.

People who can forget and forgive are likely those who were not involved, did not experience the event, or were born after that era without living through its fear, pain, hunger, or torture.

If everything were easily forgotten, history, innovation, and milestones would not exist.
In reality, some things are unforgettable.

Was it yesterday or today?
It feels like time has gotten away from me, and it’s all starting to blur together.

I’m not in the mood, probably because I didn’t get any sleep last night.
Maybe it was the rain—it kept starting and stopping all night long.
Now I feel completely exhausted, almost like my brain has shut down.

I can’t sleep, I can’t smile, I can’t laugh.
Most nights I just end up staring at that empty playground across from my place.
Honestly, it’s been ages. Like 7 months, maybe?
Out of nowhere, I get the urge to head over to the playground, sit on a swing, and just feel the breeze for a bit.

How long have I been here, staring at the empty playground and swing?
It’s so quiet tonight.
Just my breath and the sound of rain.

I’m wondering if I can just fall asleep now.
I’m really tired, or maybe not.
I hoped that watching something funny would make me laugh a lot and help me get sleepy, but it doesn’t seem to be working.
I haven’t cracked a smile, and my eyes still aren’t closing at all.

And surprisingly, it rained again.
Hate it when it rains so much.

Stop! Rain, rain, go away.
Tomorrow will be a new day.