Don’t Make It A Habit

This picks up from my last blog post, particularly on a day filled with lively conversations.
First during a wedding dinner, and later at a yum cha session.

Dr. Love often wonders whether he says anything interesting when he’s had a few drinks, so this conversation is being recorded. If you’re reading this while sober, let me know if you agree with what’s been said.

Normally, following a wedding dinner, people tend to discuss love and relationships.
It happens every time. Everyone seems caught up in the “love is in the air” and “together forever” mindset.

Halfway through our yum cha, Dr. Love said something so surprising that it made me wonder whether most men think the same way.

Dr. Love: I want to go home la. Tired la.
Gigi: So early? Last time you go back very late wor.
Dr. Love: Tomorrow got to work la.
Me: Hey.. you got to work, I also got to work. I also not yet bising.
Gigi: Yeah lo. Don’t know who that day say “you got to work, I also got to work”.
DT: Don’t kacau people la. He need to go home and call dear dear la.
Me, Gigi and DT: *laugh out loud*
Dr. Love: No la. Your head la. I don’t do that okay
Me: Haha… Sure or not?
Dr. Love: Ya la. Don’t make it a habit okay!
Me: What do you mean don’t make it a habit?
Gigi: Yeah, what do you mean?
Dr. Love: Yeah what? If you always call her then each time you have to go back home even in the middle of yum cha and call her.
Me: Habit? Then why not eat rice once a day. Don’t make it a habit to eat rice three times a day. Or maybe eat every three days. Don’t make it a habit to eat every day.
Gigi: Ya, no one force you to do so. You guys willingly do it when you are courting her and when you guys first get together.
Me: No one ask you to go back in the middle of yum cha and call her. You can always do it when you are back home after yum cha.
Dr. Love: Ya right. Then they will wait for you and then merajuk because you didn’t call or call late.
DT: Ya lo. They will say “Lei ji mm ji ngo dang lei ding wa ga? Lei gu ngo mm sai fan gau ga” (Do you know I am waiting for your call? You think I don’t need to sleep?)
Dr. Love: Ya, it makes us feel guilty yum cha. You know, I go out yum char only not do anything wrong also.
Me: No one said you did anything wrong. But is it really that hard to give them a call when you are back?
Dr. Love: Can not do that la. If always do that, then one day you didn’t do they will say “YOU CHANGED. Last time you also not like this”.
Gigi: Ya, no one force you to do so. You guys willingly do it when you are courting her and when you guys first get together. *repeatedly*
Gigi: If you can do it then, why can’t you do it now?
Dr. Love: You all don’t understand la (favourite guys quote), when you got boyfriend then you know.
Me: Ya right. We all always don’t understand.
Dr. Love: Wait till you got boyfriend then you know.
Gigi: Ya, you wait la then.
Dr. Love: Ya la. You girls always also say you are right la. Everything say you all right, you all will be happy. Even you all wrong, but say you all right then you all will be happy.

At times, I question whether many men perceive most women as difficult or troublesome.
If girls are so terrible, why does everyone pressure or encourage others to be in relationships?

Gigi raised an interesting point—during the courting phase, you’ll likely want to call the girl frequently, spend hours talking day and night, send numerous text messages, and make the most out of every 160 characters.
Couples normally do this every other day for months, and suddenly now they say they don’t want it to become a habit after starting a relationship?

Is it so hard to call her when you get home?
A five-minute call is all it takes, yet you blame her for saying, “You changed”?

I am quite certain many guys would feel girls don’t understand.
Honestly, neither side will ever understand.
And an honest truth and something many hate to admit, yes you have changed. Period.
It’s not a crime. Adrenaline wares off, passion faded, love is no longer at its peak.
Just be brave and admit it and move on.

So stop telling us to “try to understand”.
Cause if you can’t try to understand us, you can’t expect others will be able to.

Be genuine and consistent.
Don’t start habits you can’t maintain just to impress her.
Otherwise, I’m certain the “YOU’VE CHANGED” conversation will keep coming up.